When Speady Baby #2 arrives, and after all of our Christmas guests head home, Mike and I will begin the process of musical bedrooms. Caroline will move one room over, into the upstairs guest room, and the baby will move into the nursery that has been Caroline’s for her whole life so far. It makes the most sense because nursery has a pull-out couch, which is ideal when guests come, since we can more easily bring the baby into our room for a few nights than disrupt a toddler. Plus, there are some fun plans in store for Caroline’s “Big Girl” room.

But like with any change, it’ll be a little bittersweet. I remember preparing this nursery before we knew Caroline was a SHE, and then adding pops of pink afterwards. The monogram over her crib that I ordered while still in the hospital. The star from the stork in our yard welcoming us home. The ribbons full of bows that hang in her closet.

The light in that room is beautiful. It is calming and peaceful and exactly what I wanted in a nursery. I have spent so many hours sitting in there, sometimes in the pitch black listening to her congested body breathe and clutching my shoulder, sometimes during a rainy summer afternoon or while beautiful white snowflakes come down, or with the windows wide open in the early spring. Reading stories, watching her play, putting my swollen ankles on the ottoman and never wanting to get up. I will always remember sitting in the glider trying to figure out how to nurse while my mom painted the koalas on the wall. I remember the very first night she slept in that giant crib all by herself, at around 4 months, when we moved her out of our room. I remember watching her roll over for the first time on a playmat on that soft rug. She seemed so big then, so independent. Isn’t time funny like that?

I know we will make the nursery a special space for Speady Baby #2. And I know that Caroline will be thrilled with the special surprises I have in store for her new room. But all the same, I wanted to capture what this room looked like before this big transition, to freeze time for a moment and so one day I can show her, this is what your room looked like. And I will ask her–Can you see how much love we put into it?

The two blankets in this room were hand-knit for you from Debby Farrell, Kelly’s mom, and Debby, Mike’s sweet co-worker. You snuggle with the oatmeal-colored one from Kelly’s mom in your crib each night and you request the soft white cloud-like one when you are sleepy. The pillow on the glider is a gift from Joy to me…for our HS graduation 20 years ago. It is torn and tattered and is never getting replaced. You rest your head on it when you are utterly exhausted which tells me you need to go right to bed. On the shelves, there are two pictures of dolphins and sea turtles that Kay Kay painted, along with stuffed prizes Mommy and Daddy won for you at the fair, and your ‘Best Costume’ trophy from last Halloween when you were a lobstah. Daddy’s first pair of baby shoes is up there, too.

We have your ‘ellie-friend’ rocker that you sometimes climb on, and the sweet gifts that awaited us when we came home from the hospital–the star from the stork that Joy had ordered, welcoming you home, and your name framed from Kay Kay’s sweet friend Terry. All of your books linked up neatly on the racks and your ‘C’ pillow from Lee.

My favorite feature of your room–the koalas climbing the tree, including the ‘sleepy koala’ that Daddy always said was just like you! Your sweet ‘Caroline’ name puzzle–a gift from Bridget McNamara for your first birthday–and the piano you love from Uncle Louis for your first Christmas. The three bins contain just a few toys–the shapes you can (finally) fit in the right spots, a yellow car that you like to push (and watch Finny chase), and a pink bunny blanket that Julia and Hazel selected just for you.

Your book racks contain hundreds of titles from so many friends. Classic books like Goodnight Moon and liberal books like “I Dissent” and everything in-between. We rotate these every night so you get lots of exposure. Each and every book has a nameplate from the gift-giver and we talk about who gave you what, so you will always be appreciative of these treasured gifts.

In your closet, I have a special bin of gifts for you for when you are older 😉 and rows of beautiful clothes, dresses, and adorable outfits. So many of these are gifts from people who love you and I can name who gave you each and every one. I tell you about them as we get you dressed in the morning. You love to pop in here and find a new accessory to wear.

Your tiny shoes all lined up on the shelf…right now they are two pairs deep, but that won’t last for long!

On the back of your closet door hangs one of your most special items, which you will wear when the time comes…a celebration of your best role yet! You are going to be the best big sister, Sugar Bear!