Joy is my very best friend. Our friendship goes back to 1992, when we were twelve-years-old and starting seventh grade. Yes, 1992. As in the year Bill Clinton started his presidency…the year The Mighty Ducks came out…the year apartheid ended in South Africa…and most importantly, the year Sir Mix-a-lot shot to the top of the charts with “Baby Got Back.” I know. And we are a grateful nation.

Here is what we looked like in 1992, wearing our gym t-shirts on Spirit Day because we were both too cheap to buy the $10 Homecoming shirts. We were the ONLY ones wearing gym shirts. In the entire school. Coolness came naturally to us.

So since that time, we, like with many close friends, have shared stuff. In the beginning it was strawberry lip balm and Winter Formal dresses, but as we matured, it became practically second nature to share most everything. Especially because  pretty much our entire lives, we’ve both lived either together or only a few minutes apart, save for a few years when Joy made the unthinkable decision to attend college and PA school in a landlocked state. To us, our manner of sharing was normal, but everyone else thought it was bizarre. Why aren’t you each just getting your own sandwich? Rain jacket? Dressy boots? Underwear? (I kid.) Oh, we’re just going to share…” This became our thing.

During one particularly harried event, Joy and I were in Greece together trying to select candy for a travel snack (because God forbid you go on a trip of a lifetime when you’re 18 and don’t have a SNICKERS to enjoy on the ferry shuttling you around the picturesque Greek Islands) when one of us looked at our choices and said, “It’s okay…we’ll take care of each other.” And boom–just like that, our friendship mantra was born. Since we are not shallow people (despite what you may think based on that story), we really do mean it, and we both (try to) live by it. And often, taking care of each other means sharing.

I’ve shared airline miles to get her home to Florida to see her family in a pinch, she’s shared her Beer pong table with me when I was hosting my cousin’s Baby Shower. See? Everyone wins.

But sometimes, life events get in the way of all this sunshine-and-rainbows sharing, and for us, that day that happened in 2008 became known as “The Great Divorce.” Joy was marrying Joel and they had decided to move in together after the wedding. This decision came in spite of the fact that Joy and I were mutually dependent on each other’s material belongings for basic survival. But it was true–my roommate and soul sister was leaving our happy nest of collective goods. As the day drew near, many conversations about this Life Change (not the wedding/marriage part) were had. Most ended in sobs and muffled cries of “are you sure you really have to move??”  Poor Joel stood by awkwardly, holding a cardboard box labeled” ITEMS STILL TO SPLIT WITH LAURA” until he gently suggested we perform the division of assets by ourselves and to call him when it was all over and he would take Joy back to their new home. Cue the Sara McLachlan song and highlight reels of our best memories.

(In a funny side note about the tragic day Joel came back to get Joy, I had just finished putting a box of hers in the back of his Jeep and had started to climb out the back when Joy, not seeing me, SLAMMED the Jeep trunk so, so hard. It hit my head with such force that I saw stars and I crumpled to the ground like I had no bones. I also couldn’t find my breath to reassure them that I was okay. Naturally, this started a whole other round of hugging and sobbing…exactly the drama Joel thought he’d avoided.)

(Here we are during Joy’s 2008 wedding weekend in Jacksonville, FL.) 

Oh, silly 2008 us. If only we’d known then that life, as they say, goes on. And it got so much better, despite the fact that every time I wonder, “Now where is that black raincoat? I swear I just saw it…” I still have to stop and think, “Oh! Joy got that one. I got the beige one. Right.” Same with the black/brown boots, which we also divided fair and square. (The best part about the boots is that I am a half size smaller than Joy but at the time, there was no way that little hiccup was going to prevent an otherwise fabulous sharing situation.)

Splitting up meant we’d each get to live our own lives—our own houses, our own kids, our own adventures, and yes, even our own Wi-Fi passwords. But don’t worry. The share-fest continues, only in addition to sharing sandwiches and strappy shoes, we now share pack n plays, rock n plays, and sleep n plays. We share maternity clothes and baby toys and bibs and baby spoons and strollers. We share turns sitting with the stroller and chasing kids around the playground. Also wine. We share a lot of wine. But for all of those special moments, the ones that are truly what make up your life, there’s no other girl I’d rather share them with.

Meeting Joy’s son Luke, in the hospital:

Meeting Joy’s son Toby, in the hospital:

Joy meeting Caroline, in the hospital. And yes, she’s a little misty. Because she knows the adventure I’m just starting out on.

Cheers to good friends who take care of each other!